constituency

i dont even like you that much 
as a person or as a lover

it's only that you understand me. 
so you are closer than anyone else.

im so afraid of hurting people.
im so afraid of my unwillingness to let go of you in the ways that i can.

i am so frustrated and greatful and devastated and infuriated that you can never not be a part of my life
i feel like we will die together

your so deeply rooted in every singe problem and promise
i have ever had or made

i didnt even realize it.
i never do.

and i only see your significance
when i'm left stripped of any distraction

left to writhe
bereft before your carefully constructed constituency

its like a punishment.
why cant i see past you? 
 
Avatar for username bugss

bugss

NY

YWP Alumni

More by bugss

See all

  • By bugss

    Bicycle

    We ride our bikes into the brush 
    flying effortlessly down winding thin roads
    endlessly searching and reaching for that next breath
    that next grace 
    to lift the weight of gravel inside our stomachs

    Read More

  • By bugss

    catharsis

    i am trapped in that broken state of consciousness
    between sleep and wake
    where the rest and rem comes from a deeper sort of aching need 
    fullfilled
    in the early hours of time

    branches shift against your window,

    Read More