Crazy

Crazy
/ˈkrāzē/
adjective
mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.

I wonder what aliens see us as, if they
can see us at all;
if they see us as crazy,
because we make war
for peace, tear gas
in order to create order.
yet, somehow, this is perfectly
n o r m a l
to everyone.

I've been told I'm crazy
more times than I can count,
by haze-eyed people
walking in a crowded street
all donning masks
and yet, in this hell we've created,
we somehow survive
only it's just surviving—
day by day by day,
getting by 
by waking up every morning
do tasks,
go to bed at night,
and ignore the world around us—
because this is normal.

a new normal, that's
what they called it, right?
and everyone adjusted
because that's normal,
that's conformity—
nobody spoke up
about the things that matter,
about how if we'd started wearing masks
and listening, really listening,
this whole shitshow could have been avoided,
but isn't it normal human nature
to ignore the truth?

this January,
before I started my medication,
my own broken body
lay in bed, staring at the cieling
and I dreamed of burning those masks,
tearing them up in a bonfire
and I screamed—
1/6/21, they were "protesters" not "terrorists"
we all have the same blood in our veins,
and yet white supremacy
is normal. 
it's normal!

this new normal, these
natural disasters
that everyone ignores
and goes on with their life with—
it's not normal.
I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK,
is what the poets said,
and I said, me too! Me too, but
nobody listens to us,
because they say we're crazy,
we're not normal.

I have to wonder if I'm really normal,
and the rest of the world,
the people who were never poets
and whose eyes are still closed,
are the crazy ones. I have to wonder
if the people who are telling me
to conform and be a student
who likes math and not poetry,
who's straight and cisgender,
aren't the ones who are crazy,
because what if crazy—what if
making society nervous
just by being a genderfluid pansexual
is what's really normal?

SO WHAT IF I'M FUCKING CRAZY?
can't you see? I feel like
I'm waving my hand in front of blind eyes!
fine, I
learned to play guitar.
fine, I
finally admitted that I'm gay.
fine, I
began to transition to nonbinary.
but that's not normal.
that's not what's normal to all of the people
who aren't like us,
who aren't poets,
what's normal is conforming
and being someone you're not
and not listening and ignoring
when global warming is a problem,
and acting like
our lives weren't R I P P E D
from our hands,
taking the skin with them!!!

so what if I'm fucking crazy?
when did you ever care
about anyone besides yourselves?