Disappointment

You told me it was good
That you thought I would be happy
And I guess I am
Way deep down where everything in me that I don't want to feel goes to live
But I thought I would be proud
And jumping for joy
Instead I'm literally burying my head and letting the tears fall
Because I thought you were right 
But you lied
All I can do is worry and worry 
And wonder if I'm even ever going to be satisfied
Anything I get I toss away and realize is just silly
What am I waiting for?
I guess something to change
Something big to come and change my life and make me happy
I've packed my bags with old happiness and 
I'm standing on the side of the road waiting for you to come pick me up
I don't think my new happiness with ever come
I'll be waiting, dissatisfied with everything until I finally realize I'm just not lucky that way 
This is depressing. 

All I'm trying to say is that I thought I would be happier when this time came.
The only thing I'm disappointed in is myself.