dumb kid

you told me it would get better 
or maybe that was me
and i just said it to the mirror 
and like a dream i remembered it wrong. 
but i suppose it doesn't matter. 
every accent in your voice 
every inflection in your words
scream
'dumb kid' 
a child is what i am 
a child is who i remain 
for weeks at most 
or maybe for years at least 
i'm not sure. 
but i know your serpent 
tongue hisses at me 
'dumb kid' 
you'll read this, 
i know. 
you might not like this one. 
it may find it's way to the trash 
a white lie will pass your lips on 
how you didn't see it.
'oh well' you'll say. 
and i will note the free magnet and 
hollow space on the fridge.
they can't all be winners. 
you'd know about that right? 
i’m sure you'd like a redo.
sometimes i want one, too. 
but i'd give up everything i love for you. 
but you've made it clear that i am, and always will be 
just a dumb kid to you.