Eyes

the leaves are turning the color of your eyes again 

as they fall to the ground i take care not to step on them 

break their fragile spines, crack their delicate skin 

the leaves used to be alive yet the second they let go of their home 

they're a ghost of what they once were. i don't remember 

the sound of your voice but i remember 

the feeling of your eyes burned into the back of my neck 

watching me from afar with a mix of admiration and hate 

the leaves create shadows of your presence behind me 

and all i can do is walk forward and not look back 

                                                                 not miss a step 

                                                                 not trip because if i do 

i'll fall and land into your arms after swearing i'd never return 

the papery skin of the leaves welcoming me home 

as the plumes of auburn and fireplace embers ask me why i ever left 

there is comfort in familiarity and i see your face wherever i turn 

the leaves make sure to remind me of you each time i try to step outside 

                                                                             each time i try to forget 

                                                                             each time i try to move on  

yet all i can do now is pray for 

the leaves to die and for winter to come because 

the leaves are turning the color of your eyes again 

but i'll relish in the beauty of your memory one last time 

this year.