Fear of the heart

i'm afraid of tomorrow 
as it creeps slowly along 
like snail it moves 
leaving a trail of past 
failures and mistakes 
edging closer and closer 

i'm afraid of my soul 
for what i feel 
should not be how i am 
perfection of the heart 
a mere line in the book 
of my life 

i'm afraid of the thoughts i have 
when i feel like i no longer 
am myself 
or i no longer am 
the person you once knew 

i'm afraid of forgetting 
that one that i will be old 
and my hair will go gray 
and i will sit on the porch 
rocking to the slow beat 
of the heart that i once tried to ignore
for i thought it tempted me too far 

and i am ready 
that one day i will stand in your shoes 
and live my life 
that i seek and i will find 
peace and contentment 
and calm and beauty would be upon the world 
like the times before