feed me to the longing minds once more

they will ask why i lock
the door at night and i will
tell them it's because i am a creature
of habit, soft and unready for the monsters
that claw at my bedframe in
the early hours of the morning.

i don't let the monsters in, because
i know that i am the same as them,
cocooning myself in the idea of being lonely
until the thought of interaction hides itself
in the fallen leaves outside my window.

i am crazed by the lovers,
yearning for human touch, but
keeping myself away from it because
once i feel it, i will push it away once more,
my mind full and my skin burning.

i am driven insane by the few 
things i hold dear to me, avoiding the
reality of my obsessions, the ones who
shut out any idea of reaching for the
outside world again.

building these walls was not easy,
and tearing them down will be nothing
less than agonizing, but she will still try, 
he will still fight, they will still make me feel
as if i deserve to let go of the tiredness again.

and when i lie awake at night,
i will think about the wrong and right,
the good and the bad, and i will struggle
to push myself into the crevices of the 
ringing words.

and when i wake up, i will reach for the door,
and open it
leaving my nimble body for the
hungry minds.