Following the Springtime Breeze

It is springtime, so of course,

There is a newness blowing through the trees

As they whisper like ocean waves outside my open window,

And insects catch haphazardly on the screen dividing it all.

I kiss my mother goodnight

And tentatively pet my new dog

I pray that my sister is still alright

And listen as my dad loses sleep from too many thoughts.

There’s restlessness within me as each night comes

And all I want is to sleep but the thickness of the air wakes me up,

Each spring feels like a rebirth

Like the sun went in with a shovel herself,

Digging for hours in my backyard to retrieve me from the ground and revive me 

As always, nostalgia raps gently in the space between my breasts 

And the little kids laughing remind me of times spent biking down the big hill,

The liberty it brought, the wind pushing through the spaces left by missing teeth,

But also the fear that the brakes may give out, because my worries are always close by.

This spring will be the first in so long without my childhood dog, 

And I miss him so much when I feel the breeze traipsing gently across my skin as it blows the blinds and they fall harshly back against my window.

My mother scarcely sees the sun anymore, always trapped in an office behind bolted doors, 

And my sister walks for miles, taking everything in while she still can, and the thought of her getting older still makes me a little sick.

My father stays the same, as steady as the seasons, but even he is itching for something, and like the rest of us he can’t quite place it.

Spring, I have learned, makes us want as it teases us with possibilities,

Putting them right beyond our grasps just for summer to slam the doors shut,

But each year I melt into it all, 

I follow the trails of blossoms that fall silently from the steadfast trees,

And hope, unwaveringly, that they lead me to where I need to be.