FRIENDS

Part One

I used to laugh when they got sappy
I didn't feel the need to speak the truth
Even though I felt the same way
Not anymore.

I used to sigh in annoyance
When they told me their fears
Their eyes silently begging for empathy
Not anymore.

I used to forget about them 
Pretending that I was the only one 
Who should matter to me
Not anymore.

I used to be the one to step back
And stay away when they argued 
"They don't need me" I thought
Not anymore.

I used to think I didn't care 
About them, and their lives 
I liked to think that I 
Would be able to let go of them
If I needed to.
I used to think I didn't love them
That we would be okay
If we had to say goodbye
Not anymore.

Part Two

Now I see their texts 
Popping up on a screen
And I dread the moment
When they'll have to leave me.

Now I look at the pictures
Of us together 
And I wonder
If we'll ever be together again.

Now I listen over and over 
To their favorite songs
Regretting that I never danced
Along with them.

Now I wake up shaking 
Reaching blindly 
Into the darkness
Where they used to be.

Now I see their faces twice a week
On a school check in
And I can't even tell them
How much it hurts 
And how sorry I am
That I ever took them for granted.

And then I turn off the screen
A lonely fog closing over me 
Because once again
I can feel them slipping away.