Healing Isn't Linear

Walk in a straight line they say,

They say you should have moved on by now.

Walk forward and never look back, they say.

Years.

It has taken me years to “walk in a straight line.”

For me to move forward and stop looking back.

Nights where I never thought I would come this far.

Mornings of not being able to get out of bed.

Months.

Months of dreading continuing to fight through the trauma.

Days that felt good.

Days my mind felt at peace.

But those days never seem to amount to the days that I still catch myself looking back. 

Looking back at every single thing I have ever been through.

Good and bad.

But looking back at the trauma, it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

But it is still there, it always will be,

Because healing is not linear.

There isn’t a timeline.

Healing is a long process of continuing to walk in that straight line.

But not forgetting to look back ever so often at what and where you came from.

Because the nonlinear healing is what brought you here, today.