sweat rolling down my back,
ice cold once it meets frozen peas,
pressed on my lower back,
water ring on the wooden table,
seltzer chilly and fresh,
computer complaining about the heat,
it's time to put the frozen peas,
under my tired homework screen,
my dad got ice cream for dessert,
i don't remember the last time he did,
i won't be able to sleep tonight,
we are not used to heat waves,
89 degrees in late may,
feels like a sunny day in late July.
"Fun is overrated.
You just always want to make sure
Everyone's happy.
In fact,
If anything,
You should be prettier.
Like in life."
I didn't want to be prettier.
before he'd left
i could find things
because i knew
i wanted it to be different for me
you talked too much
or not enough
you let yourself go
or your makeup looked too harsh
I wished I knew all the right things to say.
Or maybe my wish was bigger than that.
I wanted to always be enough.
***
"I'm fine. I don't know what's wrong with me."
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