I never edit things before I post them on here.
---
Today I saw the prettiest boy I have ever laid eyes on.
I sent a picture to the discord and we all
simped,
all of us, yearning over a boy with a jawline
and a brain, and long hair,
and a girlfriend.
Kinda disappointing-
the girlfriend.
I don't like boys,
but this is the second thing I've written this year
where I say "I don't like boys"
and then, like a straight girl,
write a poem about a boy.
haiku:
oh god, oh fuck, i
am not paying attention
to the zoom call now
---
A girl ghosted me last week,
I liked her. We had daydreamed together
about waltzing in the kitchen while it rained
(Alexa, play Waltz in Sweaters)
We had a date for Tuesday, except she rescheduled
and I cancelled, and she was nice,
so nice, I felt terrible and she was nice,
And now it has been over a week of silence,
so maybe not so nice.
Still pretty, though.
The thing about being gay is sometimes
you like a girl, and she likes you,
romantically, and that is a Friendship
and sometimes you go on a date, and hold hands
As Friends,
and sometimes you flirt
for weeks, and weeks,
and weeks, and weeks.
but neither of you does anything.
The girl I had the date with,
I had known her for maybe 2 weeks.
I asked her out on the date.
Not As Friends.
And she thinks I am pretty.
Not As Friends.
but now she has ghosted, and I don't know why:
Not Friends.
---
I think gender norms in relationships are stupid,
but I also think if I dated a boy
it would feel nice to be persued,
or courted, or taken care of.
It might feel nice to not have to be
the brave one, or the forward one,
and instead I could be the one to twirl
and dance, and be beautiful at prom
with a Boy, like a Straight Girl.
The Lesbian Masterdoc talks a lot about
Compulsive Heterosexuality
but I am going to ignore that.
daydream: me in the rain with the boy
me in a castle in a ballgown, with the boy
me, alive, crying, laughing, angry, terrified, alive, alive, alive, with the boy.
---
---
Today I saw the prettiest boy I have ever laid eyes on.
I sent a picture to the discord and we all
simped,
all of us, yearning over a boy with a jawline
and a brain, and long hair,
and a girlfriend.
Kinda disappointing-
the girlfriend.
I don't like boys,
but this is the second thing I've written this year
where I say "I don't like boys"
and then, like a straight girl,
write a poem about a boy.
haiku:
oh god, oh fuck, i
am not paying attention
to the zoom call now
---
A girl ghosted me last week,
I liked her. We had daydreamed together
about waltzing in the kitchen while it rained
(Alexa, play Waltz in Sweaters)
We had a date for Tuesday, except she rescheduled
and I cancelled, and she was nice,
so nice, I felt terrible and she was nice,
And now it has been over a week of silence,
so maybe not so nice.
Still pretty, though.
The thing about being gay is sometimes
you like a girl, and she likes you,
romantically, and that is a Friendship
and sometimes you go on a date, and hold hands
As Friends,
and sometimes you flirt
for weeks, and weeks,
and weeks, and weeks.
but neither of you does anything.
The girl I had the date with,
I had known her for maybe 2 weeks.
I asked her out on the date.
Not As Friends.
And she thinks I am pretty.
Not As Friends.
but now she has ghosted, and I don't know why:
Not Friends.
---
I think gender norms in relationships are stupid,
but I also think if I dated a boy
it would feel nice to be persued,
or courted, or taken care of.
It might feel nice to not have to be
the brave one, or the forward one,
and instead I could be the one to twirl
and dance, and be beautiful at prom
with a Boy, like a Straight Girl.
The Lesbian Masterdoc talks a lot about
Compulsive Heterosexuality
but I am going to ignore that.
daydream: me in the rain with the boy
me in a castle in a ballgown, with the boy
me, alive, crying, laughing, angry, terrified, alive, alive, alive, with the boy.
---
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