it is not you.

Elutheromania:

an intense and irresistible desire for freedom

it wasn't you

It.

Wasn't.

You.

I'm not sad,

not disappointed,

not in the slightest.

i'm over you

I'm.

Over.

You.

It wasn't you it was him and i love it.

You aren't even in the picture anymore

I'm too busy to even think of you

And I don't feel bad.

The guy in the dream wasn't you, because he wasn't anyone

He wasn't you, and I don't think he was franklin either,

no, he was more of a vision

part of my future

something I will have

with the guy who actually likes me back

And maybe it was franklin, but i won't know until later

And I'm willing to wait

because I waited so long for this,

finally, im over you, and i have him, and he likes me

and i like him 

And you are JUST A FRIEND

And I believe it this time, 

It's not just some lie I say to get people off my back.

And the guy WASN'T YOU.

I'm so proud that i can say it now,

I'M OVER YOU.

I don't regret the last year i spent waiting and torturing myself, convincing myself that you liked me,

because a lot of good came from that

we are friends and you are a good outlet for my issues because you aren't judgmental,

but we don't even talk anymore 

and i hate to say it, i really do, but i love it

because i am no longer worried that i am making someone upset when i send a million messages at once

and i no longer cry when i am left open, 

because you taught me that it doesn't matter

and it's all because you left me open all the time…

and i can leave now and i mean it now

if i say goodbye it will not be forever, but i will not come back the same

i will be in love with someone else

i loved you but the "-ed" means past tense.

i left

it only took me two weeks to leave the past year in the past

where it belongs

and maybe you might be hurt when i tell you

that im finally over you

and i'm so damn happy. 

so after this stanza,

i will be done

and i won't compare because there isn't anything to compare

you and him are two very different people and i am happy

i won't pretend 

because there isn't anything to lie about anymore

I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU

i want to scream it till my lungs give out

on rooftops, to the wind, so it can carry my truth out.

Absquatulate:

to leave abruptly.

I can't stop smiling because his smile fills my head 

and when I close my eyes all I can see is the goofy look he gave me in science

I wonder when it'll end

but part of me believes it won't ever end 

The morning after he said it was real,

it all felt like such a dream

because I couldn't take it in

someone likes me, I am in a relationship

and I wonder if this is how everyone feels when they first get a boyfriend

I can't stop thinking of it 

He wears glasses

Contacts, mostly,

but he has glasses

and he sent me a picture

and those damn glasses

i giggled and thought

"damn"

because he looked so good

and i 

can't stop thinking of it

I talked to his friend the other day,

partially because I'm still in denial

I asked if he actually liked me

and his friend stared at me like I was stupid

"you can't see that he likes you?"

"no…" i responded

I told his friend that if anyone was going to break anyone's heart,

It would be him breaking my heart

because I wouldn't ever leave

I'm too scared

I am so worried

that one day he will realize

I am not as amazing as I convince everyone I am

And I'm so worried that he is lying to me when he says I'm pretty

and

I overthink every minute that he doesn't answer

every moment he doesn't smile back

every second is another thought 

another worry

I wouldn't leave.