Every time I'm with a friend
Or was with a friend
It's like a
High. Everything is technicolor
Like my world is made of diamonds
And the sun is refracting off of them.
It's happiness, perfection—yes, I'm okay, I'm going to be okay, the world is good.
Then I leave
Or the friend leaves
And it's like a
Low. I can't explain it.
The diamonds seem to turn cold and smoky
Like they've been dipped in acid
And all my imperfections
Glow like glaring faults.
This is why I'm afraid of being with friends.
I'm scared of the low, what always follows, that scared, lonely feeling,
That nothing's ever going to be okay again—
I relive what I said, what I did, how I acted.
It's called overthinking, I guess.
But if overthinking is a race
I would come in first
Because my mind runs at a million miles an hour
Whenever I'm remembering.
It's hard to be like this,
Introverted and sad but enjoying being with people,
And seeing everything about myself
That I could never be.
I don't do this with everyone.
Just a few people, but it's there, and I always overthink it.
...I love my friends, though.
I'd say, no matter how bad it could be
It's worth the low.
Low
More by Silent Wolf
-
Bandaids for Bad Dreams
Bandaids for Bad Dreams
I wish there were bandaids for all the cuts on my arm,
but there’s no bandaids, because I can’t tell anybody
that I’m bleeding.
I wish there were bandaids for all my scars, -
Just the Villain
Villain
I tried to say hi to a girl yesterday
Can you tell me why she was so afraid?
I know I’m fine—not disfigured or two-faced
I promise you guys that I’m perfectly sane.
My teachers don’t seem to think I’m all there -
Enough
Isn’t it enough?
Isn’t it enough for you
That there have been 102 mass shootings
In the past year?
Isn’t it enough for you
That most of them have been hate crimes
And have gone unpunished?
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