monster

i hear his whisper daily,

"everything must be perfect..."

"hush!" i scream, but to no avail

"text again, they didn't see it"

i obey everything he says as if my life depends on it

every number must be a 5 or 0

everything must be color-coded

this monster that lives in my head

i wish he would just leave

each and every time i ignore his pleas,

the sinking, pain in my gut grows until i can't sit still

my leg tap, tap, taps

and my brain runs laps in my head

"keep tapping, keep stressing, nothing is perfect, make it perfect."

his voice is constructed of nightmares and my biggest fears

"they will all hate you if you take more than 30 seconds to text back."

my life is built on the shaky stilts,

made from the crave, the obsession for perfection

red, orange, yellow, green, blue, pink, purple

"no, its wrong. pink can't go there! it must be before red!"

he screams

my head burns and my hands shake

"everything MUST be perfect."

says the compulsive monster that vacates my head.