Not yet.

No.

No, no, no, no!

It can't be December,

not yet.

Because just a minute ago, 

we were going back to school shopping.

And now we're almost halfway through the year?

It doesn't make sense.

The years are blurring together

because just yesterday my brother was born,

and now he's 3 years old.

Just last week I had a best friend,

and this morning I didn't.

It can't be December yet.

Not yet.

Not until I tell my ex-best friend how she made me feel,

talking about me behind my back.

Not until I make sure that everybody who has done something to me or

 somebody that I don't hate-

knows what's coming to them.

I want to let go of my regrets. 

But I also want to let go of toxic people.

I just can't yet.

That's why it can't be December yet. 

I'm not ready.

So it can't be over,

not yet.

But it's still going to end, isn't it?

No matter how many times I beg for it not to.

It's going to end, 

no matter how many times I say 

not yet.