thought it was love, knew it was love

i thought it was love because i got that funny feeling below my ribcage

each time i saw you i felt what the characters in my books felt

stomach flipping, heart beating too fast, head light

i thought it was love because i dedicated each and every good song to you

because i listened to your favorite songs on repeat for weeks

i now know every word to "dust in the wind" and "feel good inc"

i thought it was love because i changed myself over and over again

different styles, personalities, hobbies

i tried to be someone else because i thought that was your type.

i thought it was love because i cried

so many times,

for dumb reasons, like you not texting me back.

i thought it was love when i got uncomfortable when you took that one girl to the dance,

even when you had a girlfriend,

but i still stayed because i knew you meant well.

i thought it was love when we stayed up late every night texting,

when you made me laugh while i was upset.

thought it was love but i don't know what love is and you are still with her and i'm still alone.

i knew it was love when i thought about you every day.

your face crossed my mind infinite times,

even after that one huge fight at three am.

i knew it was love when i smiled each time i saw or heard your name,

on my notifications, from a stranger, in a book.

i knew it was love because i fought for you,

even when my friends told me you weren't worth my time,

when they got mad because you said one thing wrong.

i knew it was love when you complimented me,

and my whole life felt worth it again,

all because you told me i was pretty, the kindest person you had ever met.

i knew it was love because i could imagine you lying here with me, just staring up at the stars,

holding me tight, 

talking about life.

i knew it was love when i couldn't help but feel something,

even after i told everyone i was done trying,

but i still had hope.

i knew it was love when i couldn't stop thinking of ways to describe every feeling i had,

every paragraph, every poem, every word.

i meant it all.

i knew it was love when you defended me to your friends,

when he talked crap and you called him immature,

you told me he was wrong.

i knew it was love when i didn't care who you were with,

as long as you were happy,

so was i.

i don't think i know what love is, but if i had to guess, i would say this comes pretty close.