traits of being a pumpkin:

sometimes I get so sad 
my brain turns to squash 

when I think about 
how small my room gets 
when I fall asleep 

how the sun was only out
for 3 hours this week 
in 4 minute increments 

and I was too busy 
falling almost asleep 
to notice the light streaming in 
my eyelids 

too focused on the shadows 
my eyelashes cast over 
my cheeks 

remembering what lightning 
looked like 
when my heart still smiled 

and my toes weren't so cold 

I miss not knowing 
so much 

my mind didn't know 
acrobatics 
and I was less dizzy 

I miss my big t shirts 
that I used to throw on over nothing 
before crawling into an unmade bed 

ignorance is bliss 
and my hands are 
blind and searching 

I need more colors