unfinished, undefined

unfinished:

fractured ideas that i try to piece together into a full thought.

all things i've written about before.

him, school, pain, sleep, sunsets.

the same boring style and the same words, just typed out differently.

i feel as if my words are never enough

but i have something to say to all reading this.

your "loves"

the confirmation that it touched you

means so much to me.

undefined:

the feeling of power and appreciation

remains useless and without a clear definition.

my head hurts from all the words left unwritten,

but how am i supposed to describe them when I have no clear idea of them myself?

 the thoughts are just fractured parts of each poem i choose to reuse.

i have writer's block, but i need to speak

because each second that i hold this in is another second i am losing myself.

i just can't find a way to piece together the feelings.

nothing feels right in this moment.

unwritten:

there are so many things i don't tell people

and sometimes those things go unwritten,

because i know that someone will see it

and someone will surely judge it.

i make mistakes that i don't even try to fix anymore,

but i am the "fixer"

i fix relationships and people and just everything.

somehow, i can't seem to fix this mess of stress and unrealistic expectations.

i seem to be in quite the predicament.

undone:

all the work i thought i had done,

all of it no longer beneficial.

i try so hard and beat myself down for little things.

and part of my 2 am brain knows

that i am doing just fine,

but the other part of me doesn't want to accept that.

and frankly, i think its destroying me.

woe is me, how pathetic.

i'm doing just fine and everything is so perfect, so why do i feel so empty?