wake up

every now and then, i am lying in bed 

and want to wake up so badly i could 

scream for it. surely this is not all there is. 

surely this is only a dream, a bad dream, 

and the world is kinder beyond it. 

every now and then, i pretend 

i am twelve years old again 

and waking up in my father's arms 

as he carries me from the car. look; 

the kitchen smells like sunlight and 

bread. look; my mother is kissing me 

on the head, both of us pretending 

i am still asleep. look; 

i can hear my brother laughing, 

laughing, 

laughing, 

all the way from the next room.