Is That What You're Wearing?

“Is that what you’re wearing”

She says

Not as a question

But a judgment

A cold declaration

That I’m doing something wrong

That I’m not perfect

Not even ideal

“Is that what you’re wearing”

Condescending, harsh 

Her tone

Ripping through my ears

No remorse 

Said as if she doesn’t know

How deep it cuts

How it stops me in my tracks 

“Is that what you’re wearing”

Repeated 

As if she doesn’t see

The way my face falls

As if she’s clueless

To my nerves

As if she thinks

I don’t care

“Is that what you’re wearing”

A comparison, I know

While she says it

Staring down at me

Setting me apart from her

Apart from everyone

Placing me below the expectation

Her expectation 

“Is that what you’re wearing”

I want to play it off

Want to stand my ground 

Defend myself

But I know it’ll only

Reinforce how she thinks of me

Who she sees in me

Might as well be asking

“Is that who you are”

Someone who dresses subpar

Who doesn’t show up 

Looking to impress 

Someone undeserving 

Unsuitable for the effort 

The one at the bottom 

Of the chain

“Is that who you are”

The one left out of conversations

While her and her friends 

giggle through lunch

The one who takes the rear

Because there is only so much room

The one who’s not invited

Who never even hears about the plans

“Is that who you are”

Is that your place

Your role

She says

And I realize

It was never just a question

Or judgement

But a statement 

“That’s who you are

That’s your clothes

That’s your hobbies

That’s your choices

That’s you

And you will 

always be

Less in my eyes”

“Is that what you’re wearing”

“No”