will you listen this time?

i feel sometimes that life had an orientation 
i somehow missed 
and that is why i trip 
where others run. 

it's not that hard. 

my childhood was spent in words 
spoken and written and read 
and i speak too quick, 
my tongue faster than my brain, 
so i don't know what it is i should take back. 

just try harder. 

people say i am too loud. 
(quiet down, please.) 
is this any life for a child to live 
where they must be small 
and quiet 
and well-behaved 
for anyone to ever like them? 

they can do it, why can't you? 

i want someone to listen to me 
the way my classmates listen to each other 
but they know what to say,
and i don't talk about the right things. 
too honest, and strange, and unashamed. 
so they don't listen 
when i try to speak. 
(i only want a friend.) 

nevermind. let's try again later. 

i sit alone at the lunch table 
and wonder why nobody ever 
tries to sit 
with me.