World’s Worst
Detective
By: Daniel Oakley
It was the night of October fourteenth 1983. It was an unusually dark night. I was washing the dishes while my wife Margaret cooks dinner. I was on the last plate when I got a call from my boss. He told me that there was a burglar on the loose and I was the only detective in town.
So, with no hesitation I got ready and put very dark clothes on so I could not be seen by the burglar. I left and started driving my black minivan which also helped blend into the dark and went to the last place he was seen. I didn’t have the address so I invaded every house in the small town of Idaho I live in.
I saw many suspicious things like a guy with a sack of money, a crowbar and striped clothes, but I let him go because he must've been practicing for Halloween. Then I saw a man in a black tuxedo that looked at me wrong which was suspicious. He did not match the description my boss gave me but oh well. I locked him up in ropes and left him on the side of the road and went to go get some food. But, don’t worry I was looking through my broken spyglass to see if he was going anywhere.
When I got back I realized he wasn't there but, you can't always do the job right. So then I got back in my minivan and drove home. When I got home I found out I got fired…again. I think it's because of my expertise at my job. I wonder if they don’t have enough to pay me because I'm too good.
Comments
Haha, worst detective indeed! The image of the escaped prisoner in stripes "practicing" for Halloween was hilarious.
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