zombie

i have a zombie face

some don’t understand what that is

i consider that it means that my neutral face is grumpy

that i am perpetually angry or upset

that’s rarely the case

but when people point it out i feel like i have to smile

like i have to have some sort of emotion on my face

like i have to choose

but it’s not always that easy

i can’t just decide what to feel

that’s impossible

how could anyone do that?

it just doesn’t make sense

so no

i’m not angry with you

no i'm not upset

but i will be if you keep asking me what’s wrong

i will start to cry if you ask me too many times because i try to explain

try to get you to stop asking

to just understand

i suppose people can’t read me as well as i can read them

they can just never truly understand what it means

to be a zombie