atheist

Did you make me not believe? 
By design?
By anguish?
You, the divine creator,
how could you make me this way?
Question
after
Question.
And yet you never answer because
I know
you do not exist,
I am an atheist.

Am I gay?
I asked this in seventh grade.
I asked this in eighth grade.
I asked this in ninth grade.
I asked this in tenth grade.
I asked this in eleventh grade
and finally got a response.
Not from you,
from myself.
I realized that I could not rely on you.
I know
you do not exist,
I am an atheist.

ellenb

NY

YWP Alumni

More by ellenb

  • By ellenb

    Fear of existence

    I go outside –
    I fear the strangers
    staring 
    watching
    judging
    waiting.

    I stay inside –
    I fear my father
    staring
    watching
    judging
    waiting.

    It seems like it will never end.
  • By ellenb

    Suffocation

    I am the annoying weed that sticks out through the pavement,
    that messes up perfectly paved sidewalks,
    and makes you trip when you are not looking down.
    I am pretty-
    daffodils and dandelions and appealing and funny.
    I am ugly-
  • photocopy

    it's a photocopy of a dream,
    stolen from my mind.
    but this one's in black and white,
    deceptive, and hard to find.

    lately, you've been colorblind.
    changing right in front of my eyes.
    the worst kind of butterfly.