I used to dream in color

I used to see and dream in color 
before all the days seemed to blend together 
before staying awake became a chore 
and trying to sleep became a war 
between my irrational thoughts 
and the black and green clock 
on my nightstand
I would make up worlds and stories and plans in my mind
a fantasy of leaves and trees and people I thought would never leave me behind 
now all that's left is a shadow of what I used to be 
dark replaced my worlds of brilliant hues once filled with life though I was still the same to some degree 
I still spent hours and days on plans but this time instead of plans of friends and family and fun
they were plans of escape and survival and trying to figure out when and where to run
you see, I used to see and dream in color
now I am lucky to have the world in black and white as I try to get through another 
day another hour I no longer dream of anything but that's ok as long as I survive 
I made a promise to someone I don't break promises so I will stay alive
​until I can dream in color once again

 

caseyblaise

VT

18 years old

More by caseyblaise

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    when you asked me why

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    i watched you cry

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    that used to be 
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    i had no clever answer 

    or anecdote 
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    how did this happen?
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    the answer 
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