Oct 06
joseph.deffner's picture

A One-Sided Phone Conversation


A One-Sided Phone Conversation
The name’s Dawes, Jim Dawes. Now, the story I’m about to tell consists of very confidential material, so don’t spill the beans. I work at the FBI as the person who listens in on the phone conversations (in case ordinary people are plotting to impact our country in a negative way). Now, I’m the newest recruit so I got stuck with the junk. By junk, I mean the listening machine where you can only hear one side of the phone conversation. Unfortunately, I had not been told of this problem from my co-worker, Bill Kwonkski. So, I carried on with my job. The first day that I used the machine was a day to remember––for me, Bill, and the entire FBI. I sat down on that Tuesday morning, thinking it would be another splendid day. I picked up my coffee and started chatting to Bill. Suddenly, out of the blue, the listening machine started to vibrate. That means that there is a suspicious call on the line. So I picked up the phone and started to listen:
    Anonymous Caller: Hello Sweetie, how are you?

Anonymous Caller: That’s wonderful. Are the dinner plans ready yet?

Anonymous Caller: Lovely, We should only be there for a bit.

Anonymous Caller: Oh no, everybody should be fine.

Anonymous Caller: This dinner will knock them cold.

Anonymous Caller: Oh, by the way, we’re having Chinese.

Anonymous Caller: I don’t think he’ll mind if we don’t say grace.

Anonymous Caller: Bo and Sunny won’t miss him too much.

Anonymous Caller: Ok. See you on Monday
As you can see, it was a harmless phone call and the caller had no malicious intentions whatsoever. I sat back down at my desk and continued to talk with Bill. Two days later, the phone call came back to haunt me in the worst way possible. THE PRESIDENT, THE POPE, AND THE CHINESE FOREIGN MINISTER HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED!!! It didn’t take too long to put two and two together, and I realized that I was the one responsible for all this. I had ignored the phone call. The dinner they had been talking about on the phone was the dinner that the president had hosted. I hoped that nobody else would notice what I had done. I decided to play it quiet. Unfortunately, Bill Kwonski remembered and he reported me to the head of the FBI. Being the FBI, they fired me and Bill in order to keep things secret.

Three years later, Bill married a nice lady by the name of Betty Gron. Betty and Bill decided to combine their last names and they had a cute baby boy by the name of Rob Gronkwonski, (who got really into football). As for me, I got really interested in 60’s music and started a club in St. Louis. That day, I learned to never underestimate things. Because if you do, you might end up in a place or state that you never would have expected.