Before.

I'm so lost.
These past few weeks,
Months, even.
Have left me empty,
Haphazardly pieced together. 

I'm no longer the girl I once was.
A shell, A shadow
Of the one who laughed,
The one who cried,
When she fell off her bike,
Only to be scooped up,
and lovingly held.

I miss smiling,
Real smiling, 
Not the mask you hold 
As you say "Yeah I'm fine."

I miss the weightlessness of before,
When I didn't carry upon my shoulders,
The fragile, unpredictability of my world.

I miss the time when I wasn't alone,
Alone in the darkness,
  
 And this past year, I got so much older.