What If

I wish I could be mad at you,
it would be easier that way. 
Then I would move on from this
and I could avoid the pain. 
Because if you don’t reciprocate
my current mental state,
please don’t put me through this
and let me make up games.

What if I made it up in my mind,
what if it isn’t real?
What is it that I have done this time?
How do I know how I should feel?