Xanny-Billie Eilish

Xanny-Billie Eilish

    In my mind this song is about how being around someone who is intoxicated can feel like they are not really there. I can picture a girl who goes to a party and is the only one who's sober. As soon as she arrives she feels distant from everyone else. She didn't think it was possible to be surrounded by so many people but feel completely alone. “They just keep doing’ nothing, too intoxicated to be scared”. Everyone around her is so high they can't do anything or care about anything. I can picture her sitting in the corner and drinking her coke not sure what to do. Trying to find a familiar face but the air was too hazy from all the second had smoke. All she can do is feel like she's disconnected or missing something. But at the same time she doesn't want to join them… “I don't need a Xanny to feel better”. In the end being stuck driving everyone home and the only one who will remember. In the morning their heads will hurt but they won't be sorry… “Make the same mistakes, blame circumstance”. They just come back every time, never learning. Later the song says… “I can't afford to love someone who isn't dying by mistake in the silver lake” I think it means that she doesn't want to take the risk of loving someone who isn't scared enough of dying or making the same mistakes.