After years of tears
And fights
And pushing me away,
Things are changing;
You seem better now.
The light is back in your eyes,
The pep in your stride,
The love is back.
But I’m not sure I am
The wounds of betrayal you inflicted are not yet healed,
Despite how I forgave you
I have always forgiven too easily
“It’s ok”, and “no worries”,
Rolls off my tongue eagerly and smoothly -
Almost desperate to resolve the conflict before it even starts
You pushed me away for years.
Brain clouded with mental illness,
But still -
Are we supposed to forget that?
Am I supposed to forget that?
The monster of depression ruled over you for years,
It is not your fault,
But it isn’t mine either
I have always forgiven too easily
It usually brings me more peace to just let it go,
Than to fight any sort of battle
I wish I could forget as you have,
To disengage with the past,
To let go
I almost wish,
Almost -
I didnt forgive you so quickly.
Guilt is in every corner of my mind, but lie to you I won't
You seem to expect me to join you in that state of perfect blissful ignorance as well
The thing is,
I love you so much I just might
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