I'd like to see the city lights,
The shining purple, blinding green,
That slowly fade into the night;
A vibrant, never-ending scene.
I'd like to see the city lights;
I'd like to go away awhile-
Go to the airport, take new flights,
I'd like to see the city lights.
The shining purple, blinding green,
That slowly fade into the night;
A vibrant, never-ending scene.
I'd like to see the city lights;
I'd like to go away awhile-
Go to the airport, take new flights,
I'd like to see the city lights.
- CecyRavenclawFireheart's blog
- Sprout
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Grace Safford
Jun 07, 2017
That first stanza is great. The rhyme is subtle enough so that it isn't distracting, but it works in the poem. In addition, I love that you said "the shining purple...." When I think of city lights, I almost always think of orange and green, but the color purple is such an unexpected surprise. It adds a unique level to this poem.
In the future, if you are ever considering revising your piece, I might suggest cutting one of the "city lights" lines. Possibly the second one. Who knows! There's endless possibilities.
— GS, Intern