I can see my mom crying. My dad isn't here but I didn't think he'd come anyway. Two rows down from my mom I can see my girlfriend, Becca, crying into the shoulder of her brother. She's my biggest regret with this. I really did love her but it wasn't enough. I met her when I started middle school and we became best friends instantly. It was always the two of us, Becca and Kasey, until the end of middle school. In freshmen year we made some more friends but it was still mostly just us. I remember in sophomore year, the two of us were sitting in my room just doing nothing and I decided to come out to her. She had nothing but supportive things to say to me and it made my heart swell. A few months later she asked me out and we started dating. We’ve been together for the past five years. 
The next five rows behind Becca are all extended family that are wiping their eyes and pretending to cry. I hate them all. They didn't know me and even if they did I doubt they would've tried to help me. I start to walk down the aisle and look around. I see kids from school. Most of them didn’t even know my name; but here they are. Crying. Tears spilling down their faces. I turn away from them and look at my mom again. I kneel by her and watch her cry. It hurts to see but I can’t do anything about it. For the rest of the time I watch my mother. I can hear people getting up and talking about me; telling stories, both funny and sad. It's over pretty soon. 
I stand up and turn back to the podium. And there I am. I look peaceful and calm. My hair is soft and lays gently on my shoulders. My skin is smooth and soft. The dress is one of my favorites; I wore it to prom with Becca and it was one of the best nights of my life. It's a creamy white color with a sparkly black overlay. She had on a flowy purple strapless dress with little sparkly flowers on it. I’m jerked out of the past when I see Becca stand shakily and walk up to the podium. My breath catches in my throat and I feel my eyes start to well up. I didn’t realize she was going to speak today. She looks down and her shoulders start to shake from held-back sobs. Finally, she looks up and takes a deep breath. 
“Kasey is one of the strongest people I know. In all the five years we’ve been together I’ve never met someone stronger. But I guess I misjudged that strength. I tried to help her but she was weaker than I expected. And when it came time for me to lean on her for support she broke. She was selfish and in the end it destroyed her.” I watched as she broke down in sobs. Not quiet, delicate sobs, but I-can't-go-on-anymore sobs. I put a hand to my mouth as I let out a choked gasp. Becca stumbled down from the podium and ran to her brother. I sank to my knees as I felt tears stream down my face for the first time that day. I felt my shoulders shake as the weight of it all came crashing down on me for the first time. After a while I stood up shakily and walked over to the podium. I ran my hand along the casket and looked in. I took in a shuddered breath as I saw the face looking up at me, eyes closed peacefully. Lips a pale pink, parted slightly. Face pale of color, cold to the touch. A girls face. A young woman's face. My face.