Solitare

I flip the card over.
Quickly I match up a
card with it.

Again I flip a card.
I groan inside,
then scan the rest.

Nothing.
Oh no.
Again.

I cheat.
I peak under a stack
of overturned cards.

The card I need is right there.
I quickly slip it out and place it on a pile
feeling guilty the whole way.

At least I'm not cheating 
when playing someone else,
but I guess it's just as bad.

Maybe even worse
because each time I sneak 
a look under those forbidden cards,

I'm lying.
To
myself.

If life were a game of solitare
I would be a nasty, lying,
cheat.