Letters to the Stones in the Garden

Last night I fell asleep listening to the 
rain hit my window 

the wind blew so hard 
that the house tipped over 
and I slept on the walls 

the heavy drops shattered the glass panes 
and filled up my room 
with their seeds of change 
and new ideas 

so I closed my eyes and 
pretended the world 
was not so backwards 

once someone asked me 
how I fell in love with lightning 

why I sat at my window every night 
wishing for the sky to break in half 

I never told them the answer 

instead I broke all the glass in my house 
hoping without mirrors I wouldn’t have to worry 

sometimes I dream of far away places 
but with the storm beyond the glass 
I dream of nothing at all 

instead I wonder 
if lightning ever gets self conscious
about how loud she is 

I wonder if she wishes she was a sunflower 
beautiful and quiet 

she shatters the world in half 
and opens up the sky 
so I can see all the stars 

I never told you how I feel like lightening 
how I feel like sometimes I take up too much space 

I never told you 
how I love sunflowers 
because I wish I could be them 

I never told you 
how I sing words to the stars 
wishing I could sprout wings and fly  

but I am the daughter of Icarus 

I was not made to fly 
I was made to break in half 
and pour words into different colored vases 

and then throw them at brick walls
just to see what happens 

I tumble backwards through time 
digging through the thousands of beautiful faces 
to find myself 

All my freckles have changed 
so has my heart 
I am no longer made of soft fabric and silk strings 

I am made of crumpled paper 
and pencil shavings and blue sky 

I am made of the boy 
with the square windowpanes 
that keep his world from tipping over
and who smells like rain 

I am made of sandboxes 
and love for the ocean 

I am made of a thousand different books and 
nervous breaths and 
carnivorous butterflies and 
everything is going to be fine 

Because I am the daughter of Icarus 
and the walls are a good place to sleep