fall before you think

lately ive become impulsive
thats new for me.
ive never been the risk taker
the rule breaker the girl who could just do
without thinking
ive been straight, tight, focused, determined
gifted with an attitude that made it impossible
to disobey myself.
things arent so narrow anymore
a feeling has crept into my soul
a stalker of sorts
recognizing that i needed to get over myself
forcing me to let go of unrealistic ideas.
now i say yes to everything
i dont think about the consequence
i act based on my initial emotion
ive stopped apologizing
waved goodbye to situations not worth my time
i have become a new person
it could be this city
or these new people
though i think i know deep down that all is useless.
the real reason for my new love of impulse
is my readiness to grow up into this new me
i finally feel ready to face a world
that doesnt give handouts or sugarcoated paths
reality has set in
just in time for me to set in with it.