Watered Down.

Pushing you away
is easier than breathing you in
I don’t risk choking on feelings
or letting you take any of my air
the harder I push
the farther you fall
like a game of connect four
eventually all the chips cascade
even the winners.
We both lose
whether I let you in or not
love is not simple
delicately put it’s doomed
people don’t find each other in passion
it’s rare
even when it happens
passion is a bubble
too unpredictable to count on
it could grow or pop instantly.
I want to believe that in some universe
loyalty, honesty, and chemistry
could all coincide
to construct one beautiful masterpiece
but I don't imagine I’ll ever convince myself of that.
By keeping you away
I get to love you in moments
rather than in permanence
hearts can’t be broken
feelings can’t be acknowledged deeply
you and I remain unharmed and happy enough
at the end of the day
content is all we can hope to feel
anything more would be like asking a fish
to breathe above ground
they’ll want to and they’ll die trying to do it
but end up with a cold dead heart
like mine.