May 07
Sidney B.'s picture

Chime

Today something happened that really set me off.

What it was doesn’t matter, the fact is I am so

Damn pissed that I can’t stop hearing the little voices

That chime the word idiot over and over and over.
I cracked under the weight and hit myself on the head,

Then jumped up and down, so the noise of the outside

Would drown the noise within; so I could stop hearing

The little voices that chime the word idiot.
I came inside after jumping, probably leaving the

People who gave me a ride back home some concerns

I have no plans to address. I’m not in a place where I can care about

Minor confusion. I’m still trying to stop hearing the little voices that chime

Idiot.
It’s why I’m typing so furiously right now.

All these stanzas in under three minutes’ time.

I haven’t stopped except to correct minor punctuation errors my jittery hands have made.

And I won’t revise a single line of it, because this isn’t going anywhere

Except my own head, so I can shut up the voices that chime idiot.
I want to be alone right now.

Not with my thoughts, my thoughts make me hear idiot.
Stupid, worthless, childish, child, kid, die, kill yourself, dumb, failure, fail.

It’s quite enough to be reminded by my friend that I made a mistake

But that reminder’s what set the little voices chiming with the word

Idiot.
I’m running out of steam now,

Starting to realize what I’ve typed.

I’ve never actually typed the word pissed out before

At least not to keep. I just rewrote some of that last line, shoot.

Now, thankfully, I think I can safely say:
I stopped hearing the little voices chime idiot.

 
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