When I'm afraid that I will get angry at myself for something,
I avoid it.
You see,
I don't like being angry at myself
So when I am angry at myself
About something I haven't done yet
Or am not doing,
I do other things.
A crossword puzzle
Eat some food
Check my email
Reread the instructions for the forms I should be filling out
Watch Netflix
Because I hate being angry at myself
For things I know I should have done
Or should be doing
In the sense of
Things I quite truly, really ought to be doing
Not just those "should"s that we feel pressure from despite their lack of reasonable source.
They're the should's like writing letters to my grandparents
Cleaning my room
Writing
Merely logging on to YWP
Starting college placement exams
Clearing my dishes from dinner
Responding to that text from last week.
I am angry at myself for not doing these things.
Instead of doing them
Or thinking about how I haven't done them yet,
I avoid them.
I do other things.
#sos18
I avoid it.
You see,
I don't like being angry at myself
So when I am angry at myself
About something I haven't done yet
Or am not doing,
I do other things.
A crossword puzzle
Eat some food
Check my email
Reread the instructions for the forms I should be filling out
Watch Netflix
Because I hate being angry at myself
For things I know I should have done
Or should be doing
In the sense of
Things I quite truly, really ought to be doing
Not just those "should"s that we feel pressure from despite their lack of reasonable source.
They're the should's like writing letters to my grandparents
Cleaning my room
Writing
Merely logging on to YWP
Starting college placement exams
Clearing my dishes from dinner
Responding to that text from last week.
I am angry at myself for not doing these things.
Instead of doing them
Or thinking about how I haven't done them yet,
I avoid them.
I do other things.
#sos18
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Hazel.C.
Jul 30, 2018
I completely relate! I can end up doing a lot of other things to avoid one thing. It’s funny how procrastination relates to productivity, it’s not really a laziness but more of an aversion to very particular actions, which you captured very well in this piece. Sort of a distortion of importance, where we know something is important, but don’t feel that it’s important. Weird how that works.....
~Hazel