Sep 18

I Don't Understand

“I don't understand.”

Is what he said to me, as I let myself say everything I felt the need to say, everything that I had bottled up for so long.

That’s what everyone says.

And he didn't understand.

He couldn’t.

Was it the way I paused? The way I still couldn’t let myself give in to showing every emotion, every colorful thought that crossed my mind?

Was it because he didn’t want to believe it?

Did he know what I meant?

Did he know why I decided to open up to him in a time that had no need for such things?

“I don’t understand.”

Is what he said to me.

I tried and tried, again and again, after hardly healed from my past mistakes, I had to make myself explain. I had to give my reasons. Or else they’d think I didn’t care.

Was I speaking in a way that made my words seem unclear?

Did I mix thoughts together, like two secondary colors colliding on a thin sheet of palette paper?

Why couldn’t they understand? How can I make myself clear?

Now I’m the one who doesn't understand.

 
About the Author: Moxie Zealla
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