Do not tell me that "it will all be okay!"
Because it won't.
It has been a year now;
The emptiness inside of my heart is still screaming.
It's quieter some days,
It's louder others.
I will give you my heart;
A little glass thing.
It reflects the stars burning in your eyes.
You will drop it on the sidewalk,
And call all of my broken pieces beautiful.
Pick it up shard by shard,
The green light of my alarm clock blinks at me
It shouts at me,
There is a reason I am afraid of phone calls and late-night texts.
It is a reason drenched in the tears of a million too-young kids,
And the blood of the people they trusted to stay.
I smiled at the void
and the void smiled back.
I dipped my finger into it
and got lost in the darkness,
like an ocean, ever reaching.
Water filled my lungs instead of air.
And when I surfaced once more,
Oh to be a saint in a stained glass window.
Oh to be a heavenly being with lips painted in blood.
Oh to be an angel with wings ever-reaching for heaven.
Oh for a halo of thorns to lay across my brow.