ashlyn_foley

I’m drowning 
Sinking in my own emotions
Waves crash over me again and again
The waves of sadness, guilt, fear
It’s too much
I can’t breathe
I’m supposed to be swimming 
But what if it’s easier to sink

Strawberry fields pouring down from the sky
The vibrant red fruit is falling into the grass
Falling forever and ever
Down to this small rock we call Earth
Why are they falling? How is it happening?
No one knows anything

A spin and a twirl
A kick to a split
The dancer knows eyes are on her
Watching her every move
Scared to look away as if they might miss it
Miss the ease with which her body moves

She is strong and capable

Young girl, you are beautiful
Your smile beams light and joy
Your laugh is infectious
If only more people were like you

You are a princess
Wearing gowns and tiaras
Slipping on your little silver shoe that fits like a glove

I wish I knew where I longed to go
I wish the answer was a simple yes or no
But it’s not, because
I don’t know where I belong

Do I belong to my childhood home?
The only place I ever truly known
Where I could be myself

These past few years I saw myself as blue
My face is blue
My eyes
My clothes
It seemed to make sense that I was blue

I never had a lot to say
And when I did it was more of a whisper than a shout
I got used to being blue