aegent

You knocked on my door
Grasped my hand in yours
I watched your eyes come closer to mine
And I led myself to your rabbit hole
You promised me
Promised that it was full of wonders
Magical
Mystical
Marvels

I write because nothing can make it stop
I write because I feel
When I want to feel nothing
When I want blissful numbness
When the world weighs on me
When I am desperate
Desperate for a reprieve

The dreidel spins
Faster and faster 
Letting loose 
Letting the world subside
As it turns into streams of yellow and blue and green
Faster and faster it turns
A blurred line on my desk

I am small
With a soft voice
And they see me as a little girl
I would crawl
To let them know view annoys
Because I am not just a little girl

I call
To say my piece
And I am told
The age of a little girl

I held it close
The picture of my home

Lumps of paint
Long since withered
Marred it 
Drawing attention away from the blue house
And still
I held it close

Tears that dropped seemed quaint

I am friendly
I am delightful
I am lovely
And yet
I am cold
I am selfish
I am heartless
And yet
I am spunky
I am spit fire
I am wild
And yet
I am a part of my family
I am a child
And yet
I am alone