emi_art_now

I miss the summer heat, and the love I once received, 

Before I turned

Seventeen. 

Sometimes I wish I could forget about last week, last month, last year, my past,

the green leaves will flutter on the trees,
your car will leave the big hot parking lot,
once and for all. 
will I leave with someone else, 
or by myself,
because maybe I just need to digest what happened

I miss the days when it was a act of criminal to touch
the railings at the public library.
I miss the days when you sighed and said it's ok when it wasn't.

It's an hour of the day when it's ok,
but it's not fine. 
I've lost my chance.
My chance is far
from near.
The milky twilight will stain my face a ghostly white
and remind me of my losses,

I should have stopped before sadness was nesscessary
sadnesscessary
was a good name for an album I guess. 
I knew I should've given up long ago.
It would've saved me so much trouble. 
Was it good for me?
New and real?

I wish I found some local friends,
local friends who'll stay
I don't wanna love and leave anymore, I'm over it.
and I can tell they want to be over me 
and they can't.
my "real friends" make big deals about my problems