IceGalaxy

it was easier
when we were kids
dealing with scabbed knees
instead of scarred wrists
eating paste instead of 
inhaling it 
writing with pens instead of 
pretending to be normal and 

you know how to hurt me
take my own knife 
stab me in the heart
leave me bleeding on the concrete sidewalk
and say it's love
in case you've forgotten
you're no longer in love with me
because i am not a good fit for you.

Why create a new reality 
When you have one in front of you
Already?
Why look through the window
Into her life
When in your own mirror
Is everything you love?
You long to be her
But you can't see

is it worth it
is the pain you hold close to your heart
worth the happiness you get from me
and yet
i'm the one causing the pain.
is it worth it
checking my playlist captions again and again

When he was six years old
his family moved from the crowded city
to the stillness of the countryside, a
kid once raised by tall smokestacks,
a constant stream of chatter in the back of his head, and

i want you to know
i hate being your ex
i hate how i constantly remember how i left
i hate how i could never say anything against you
i hate how scared i was to do one simple thing
i hate how i acted
but i love you