Inkpaw

This was it, this was the day, I would end it all. No more fake parents, looking to play pretend with me, like I'm some sort of toy. No more pitying sad smiles, and overly concerned, too nice teachers. No more feeling like an outcast.

the portal to my crazy life
opens with a zipper
the cookie crumbs 
and broken pens 
might be the first you encounter
but soon to follow 
are the old notebooks
with strange thoughts
and weirder sketches 

long I have carried this weight
tired my arms have grown 
and weary is my soul 
my sanity is cracking 
and everything feels out of controll
yet
somehow
I keep pushing 
breathing 
smiling 

the frozen wasetland 
of silence
that stretches between us 
inhabited only by the failed attempts 
to break the silence
and an ocaisional sigh 
you turn on the radio 
but turn it off again 

I watch 
as the early morning sunlight
peeks through my window shades
casting it's golden glow 
across the placid sea of my covers
how I long
to lie here forever 
and revel in the freedom 

today 
is O K
I'm alive
in my own falling apart
way 
my thoughts
winding around my head 
and forming a poisonous mass
inside my heart 
whispering lies
and twisting truths