JayJay

i sit and stare out the window

stare out the window at the brown dead grass

the dirty snow melting into muddy slush

the mud that is criss-crossed and destroyed with ruts and tire tracks

Purple paper ripped out of my notebook 

you're beautiful in all the ways 

it says in my purple fountain pen 

I taught my sister how to hold the pen 

and she wrote me the note 

i toured six different colleges over the past week

& i didn't care about the clubs

If … I can't help but replay that one moment over and over in my head…The “if only”... echoing, bouncing around like a voice echoing against the walls of the grand canyon, empty…”if only”.