My friends are all getting old
Getting their permit
License
Their own car
Getting boyfriends, girlfriends
Getting jobs
My friends are all getting old
They don’t play anymore
Not with toys
Or their imagination
We no longer run through the woods
Battling invisible monsters
Under the disguise of some character
With magic powers
My friends are all getting old
Caring about makeup
And reputation
Caring about social media
And what they post there
Posting there
every day
My friends are all getting old
I repeat as if I’m not, too
Time didn’t stop for me
I am aging too
So why do I feel like
My friends are all getting old
And I’m still just here
Age 6
Age 8
Age 11 or 12
Not 14
Wait
15
I just can’t get used to it
Because my friends are all getting old
Aspen picks me up in a jeep and drives us to school
Ada shows up to pick something up from our house
With some boy her age she introduces as her boyfriend
Jerimiah, the younger neighbor boy, even
The kid through the woods
Talks about how excited he is to get his driver’s permit
And I look at the people I have known all my life
And I think
What happened to running through creeks
To playing with dolls and killing the whole family
Because neither of us could play normally
What happened to 2nd grade creative writing
Inventing creatures only a child could dream up
What happened to reading books
Calling them chapter books
Even though now, every book is a chapter book
And it was always a happy ending
Playing on the playground
Goodness, I miss the swings
The slides
Scraping my knees on that black rubber mulch
All my friends are getting old
I saw Emelyn at Publix the other day
While I was shopping with my mom
She was wearing a green polo
A black apron
And a name tag that said “Happy to help!”
“Serving you since 2025”
All my friends are getting old
Just a few years ago, I remember summer
Our parents sitting on the porch
Drinking coffee, beer
And us
Playing mermaids
In my pool
Us, seeing who could make the biggest splash
Us, begging my mother to come swim with us
To watch us dive into the cold water
And all my friends are getting old
Eventually, in some years, they'll be getting engaged
Getting married
Going to bars and clubs
Eventually
These people I have known since pigtails
Will be having little babies
That will remind me too much of them
That will remind me too much of then
And not enough of now
Because all my friends are getting old
And I still feel like a kid
Comments
Maybe it’s because my birthday is coming up, but I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot the past week. I keep thinking that I’m twelve and then remembering that I’m three years older, and realizing that the kids in the grade below me aren’t even twelve. A lot has happened in those three years, so I’m curious what my actual 12-year-old self would think about me now. (I also felt 10 when I was 12, and 8 when I was 10, so really the whole ‘feeling stunted’ thing is a regular occurrence for me.)
Log in or register to post comments.