15 shouldn't feel like this

My friends are all getting old

Getting their permit

License

Their own car

Getting boyfriends, girlfriends

Getting jobs

My friends are all getting old

They don’t play anymore

Not with toys

Or their imagination

We no longer run through the woods

Battling invisible monsters

Under the disguise of some character

With magic powers

My friends are all getting old

Caring about makeup

And reputation

Caring about social media

And what they post there

Posting there

every day

My friends are all getting old

I repeat as if I’m not, too

Time didn’t stop for me

I am aging too

So why do I feel like

My friends are all getting old

And I’m still just here

Age 6

Age 8

Age 11 or 12

Not 14

Wait

15

I just can’t get used to it

Because my friends are all getting old

Aspen picks me up in a jeep and drives us to school

Ada shows up to pick something up from our house

With some boy her age she introduces as her boyfriend

Jerimiah, the younger neighbor boy, even

The kid through the woods

Talks about how excited he is to get his driver’s permit

And I look at the people I have known all my life

And I think 

What happened to running through creeks

To playing with dolls and killing the whole family

Because neither of us could play normally

What happened to 2nd grade creative writing

Inventing creatures only a child could dream up

What happened to reading books

Calling them chapter books 

even though now, every book is a chapter book

And it was always a happy ending

Playing on the playground

Goodness, I miss the swings

The slides

Scraping my knees on that black rubber mulch

All my friends are getting old

I saw Emelyn at publix the other day

While I was shopping with my mom

She was wearing a green polo

A black apron

And a name tag that said “Happy to help!”

“Serving you since 2025”

All my friends are getting old

Just a few years ago, I remember summer

 Our parents sitting on the porch

Drinking coffee, beer

And us 

Playing mermaids In my pool

Us, seeing who could make the biggest splash

Us, begging my mother to come swim with us

To watch us dive into the cold water

And all my friends are getting old

Eventually, in some years, they'll be getting engaged

Getting married

Going to bars and clubs

Eventually,

These people I have known since pigtails,

Will be having little babies

That will remind me too much of them

That will remind me too much of then

And not enough of now

Because all my friends are getting old

And I still feel like a kid