severus snape knew what always meant
he knew the weight of it
he understood it
"after all this time?"
"always."
always
something so powerful
with such weight
so profound
always
i try to carry it as he did
never using it lightly
only when i mean it
always
always i will love this
always i will need this
always this will be a part of me
always i will love her
even though she's gone
always
always, always, always
"after all this time?"
"always."
Noise
Warming up
Keys
Fingerings
Chatter
Laughter
The chorale
Stopping
Starting
"Again"
"I know you can do better than that"
Serious but
You also love it
Cornered
I put my hands up
Like you taught me
Only now
You're the one attacking
"Helping" because
You "just want me to feel better"
And I braced for impact
I'm distracted.
Why did I let myself become so reliant
Dependent
So stupid
Ugh I'm so mad.
So mad.
I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want
I let myself want them
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