I told myself I’d anchor myself
In fifth grade.
I lost myself in sixth.
Created myself in seventh.
Now in this horrible in between
I wonder if I can be the person I have been
Without you?
Because I knew you anchored me
But without you
Truly
What keeps me away from what kills me?
If I am so addicted to the poison
And you aren’t there to keep me distracted keep me happy and free and loved
Will I still be me
Or am I just not capable?
How to be my own person with my anchor far away, I wonder?
Long day
past where morning sun shines and into the dark huskiness of night
fluorescent lights beating down
then flickering off
a fanfare
a reflection
a redemption
Some things are just instinct
like when I just ran to you
as soon as I saw you
and hugged you for -
oh yeah -
the first time
very very platonic of course
you're my big brother.
Your solo is like sun shining through the clouds in my heart
it's like a platonic ballad
it's like you are playing
through first loves
and forbidden loves
and grass in the summer
and crunchy chips
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